Bimbo Coker’s (real name withheld) first day on campus was full of apprehension. It was expected.
As a 15yrs old who had spent all her primary and secondary school education at private schools in Osun State, she had never left the sight of her parents, not even for a day. All through her primary and secondary schooldays, she was known to be a quiet, obedient “mummy’s girl.”
In the church on Sundays, she sat where her parents sat, and left for home when service was over. No time to play with friends after the grace was shared. During the holidays and weekends, her – both educationists – got her tutors to groom her academically. She is the only girl among five children.
After sitting for WAEC and making distinctions and credits in all nine subjects she sat for, she gained admission to study Biochemistry at Ladoke Akintola University of Technology, Ogbomoso, Oyo State, Nigeria.
Since her mum’s friend’s daughter, who was 10 years older than her, was a final year student of at the same university, her parents did not bother seeing her off to the school…
After all, she was going to be an adult someday and sort out things on her own, they thought, perhaps.
After some pep talk on the day she was travelling to Ogbomoso in 2008, her parents let their ‘little bird’ fly. It would be her first experience outside home.
“Ordinarily, they never left me on my own for the first 14 years of my life. My parents were always there for me,” she told our correspondent in December 2015 at a church-organised seminar in Lagos city, where she now works as a customer care officer at a telecommunications firm.
But on this particular night, they were not there for her.
Her mum’s friend’s daughter — who she called her “school mum” — was, however, too busy with her final year project that she had no time for her to put her through the school system as the one-week orientation for freshers was not enough for her to grasp how the university system works.
“Eventually, I had to be on my own. I had to start acting like a lady and not a girl anymore, so I felt I should stop disturbing her. She was busy with her project and I couldn’t be the reason why she wouldn’t be able to concentrate,” Coker said. “But I still needed help. I had never been in a wide system like that before. Some things were confusing. I was able to meet with other freshers like me, and so we helped one another.”
Days flew by and registration period was about ending.
It was during one of the days she had to fill the course form and submit to the department that she met a 400-Level tall dark coursemate, Wale (not his real name), “who appeared to be a God-sent angel. He helped me out on almost everything,” she recalled.
From assistance, to resistance, then force
Coker told PUNCH that though she was embittered, she had decided to let go of what happened between Wale and her — for the sake of her own inner peace.
She narrated, “We soon became good friends. Though he was 14 years older than me, I was not bothered. He was like a big brother to me in school. I grew up among boys, so I felt comfortable with him. He would help me out on anything — how to approach lecturers, how to choose which course to offer when it came to selective ones, and so on. He was very friendly with me. Moreover, we attended the same campus fellowship and he played drums.
“He would help me with some assignments. Yeah, He is brilliant and read a lot then. It was even his seriousness that attracted him to me in the first place. I love a serious guy and meeting him that day and discussing with him afterwards, I couldn’t help but become his friend.
“There was a time I felt that I should caution myself because the closeness was getting too much. He noticed my behaviour and asked me why I was getting scared of him. Of course, I was a virgin then and I ought to. However, he told me he had a girlfriend, a then-300-Level Food Science and Engineering student. That put my mind at rest a bit. At least he wouldn’t betray the trust of the other lady, I assumed.”
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